Really ?!

Ate yesterday. Not today. I’ll be way to busy. After work I’m going to try to go for a walk. Take my dog with me or something. I want to do this every day because I’m to tired/ lazy to run. In the summer when i get off around one in the afternoon ill start running. I’ll try to run for about 45 mins and then get cleaned up and watch my nephews. After that my dad will be home so I’ll take my dug for a walk or something. But that’s not till summer so i have to wait. In the meantime ill fast. i want to fast clear into next week but weekends are hard for me. All i want to do is eat none stop. Most likely out of boredom. So I’ll have to keep busy. Try to sleep all day. Then take a bath right before family dinner. Idk. I’ll think of something. Maybe i can fake sick or something. I’m never hungry when I’m sick. God this pisses me off. The min i get to live on my own I’m going to keep no food in my house. I’ll be able to do whatever i want. Be as thin as i want. Not have a mother shove food in my mouth. Or a father who buys nothing but fat fucking junk. I want that life. All i need to do is make it through today without any food. I am allowing soda for today. just to keep up my blood sugar. Tomorrow ill cut it down to one the none the next day. I’ll keep water fasting after that until i am forced to eat. I hope i can lose 5-8 pounds this week. If i can keep it up i hope i can lose 10-18 pounds. I’ll probably have to eat at the Ren Fair. Just lunch. When i get home I’m so tired from running all over the place(Watching kids mostly) that ill take a bath and go straight to bed. If i can’t keep it low Cal (planning on a salad that around 250-300 cals at most)i should keep losing weight throughout the week. During the week ill fast. I hope by the end of May i can weight 135ish. By the end of summer i should weight 120ish if i keep it up. I’m want to weight ,at the most, by the end of the summer 135. It would be a goof weight. I really need to stop planning for the future. But summer is just around the corner and i want a plan. I want one for the Ren Fair too. I want to lose and keep losing. I want to build muscle in the summer and just keep losing fat. I am using the school computer right now. I still need to talk to my mom about getting the internet turned on again now that my dad is working again. Ill also have to make of list of things i need to do. I can do that wall I’m up late tonight. Cant sleep and i don’t know why.