All hopes of fasting will end in fail this week. Only one reason. I got my period....ya its sucks. Luckly my mom is gona put me on birth control so I wont get them as much! Also when I get my period I normally put on weight like one to two pounds so that hopefully means iv lost weight cause my weight didnt change. Anyways ya. I had a 350 ish cal breakfast. I know thats alot but tomorrow ill hard boil an egg and eat that. It will be 70 cal if I put nothing on it. And then hopefully tonight andtomorrow night ill have soup and thats 310 at the most so I shouldnt go over. 1000 ya! I got my ren fair dress and its alittle small but still fits so it will hopefully be less tight when I lose atleast ten pounds. I want to lose 15 or twenty but I have 4 week tops so it might happen with 15 but twenty is most likely a dream unless I fast next week and the week after. But Saturdays are to had to avoid even foods class so it should most likely be 15 and im ok with that cause ill be in the 140s and I havnt been there for about 4 year. And we only have 7 weeks of school left so ill.have all summer to fast and work out so im hope by the end of summer ill be in the 120s im not going to push this goal cause as you get smaller the weight is harder to lose. But still Also I found a way to motivate me to start working out. The end of the world! Ya I know it wont happen and probably not in my life time. But our state is due for a big 8. Something earthquake and it might just be what I need. I also need to get used to less food cause there wont be any so I should prep my body now wall I can.(yes iv been watching.dooms day prepares and all of the people on the show are on the chubby side mostly so it help motivate me) but ya. And I want to learn parkor cause its a grate work out and is really cool looking and could help.with end of the world. I know really stupid but its ok. As long as im skinny nothing eles matter. Im also putting money in a jar to save up for pants and stuff. So that way im not spending it on food. I got like 5 dollars but its a start and less calories. I saw N today. I just waved and kept walking. Ill see P at the end of the day(if he is here). Speaking of P this was a few weeks ago but we had to wear glasses and ear plugs to feel like an old person for class and P went right up to my face. So close I could smell his breath. And said something stupid . But it was really. I dont know. Dorky and I stopped breathing and was pretty sure I turned alittle red. Then he did it again cause he thought my eyes.looked cool(everyone dose). It made me alittle happy. Even though I sure he like S. She thin and pretty and ya. But she dose seem like she might have a rude side. Im sad though cause P graduates this year. I know where he works so I could stalk him after(creepy) but I think I would look weird randomly walking around a hotel when I dont have a room. So ya next year. No crushes will go to my school. Also I was texting R last night cause he is leaving school cause his family lost their home. And he was all sad and stuff and took way to many pills. So I said.if he did it again I would cut myself. (clean for 3 months) then I felt bad after for pulling that card. I just didnt want him hurting himself. I mean I know hes sad and stuff but people truly care and love him. I did tell him how I lost my house and other things. Nothing about the ED . But ya. So ....idk iv rambled long enough. Later