ok

Ok my scale says I weight like 160.5 so thats good. And I start my fast tomorrow! Im going to try to eat little at dinner but you never know. Also I am very hopeful that I may get away with no food next family dinner. But that might just be a pipe dream. And I know I said I would never do a salt water flush again but I might do it at some point in my fast. That way im all clean. Im going to do just a water fast and hopefully I wont end up passing out or something from low blood sugar. And then like 3 ish days before I break my fast ill start drinking juice. Just to slowly get my body used to calories. Anyways...about P....ya have not stopped thinking about it. I can remember walking to class and knowing that he was right behind me. How the teacher placed both him and I in the same group. Him having trouble folding the napkins...so I folded him a flower. Granted the other girl took it but what ever. He wanted to put it on my plate but I said it was ok she had it. Besides I wanted one folded by him. I remember him trying to fallow me folding the flower but ended up lost. Him moving the salad bowl seconds after it being placed. Waiting in the back of the group so he would end up walking me to the table. Him trying to copy me in the way I sit( granted I sit up straight all the time but I didnt so.he wouldnt feel.bad). Him oddly looking at me over and over again as I tried to eat the salad without.a panic attack. Him laughing cause my hand where shaking and I couldnt eat. Then I ran out the room. Got back they where cleaning up and P asked me to help with dishes. So I did until the bell rang and I had to leave for work. But ya it made me happy. And he probably laughed as I tripped over my feet. I havnt been this happy over a guy in a long time. And when I lose 20 pounds from my fast(i plan to go 23 days hopefully) maybe he will like me alittle bit. Just alittle. Idk. Maybe im being a freak and thinking to much into it and he just wanted a good grade. Maybe for my 18th birthday ill be a creep and get a room at the hotel he works at. Sometimes I worry I might end up a stalker. Anyways off.to do the dishes and still some water and sleeping pill for tomorrow so I sleep all day and never have to leave my room.